The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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