how can u be prego again
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
