a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
