I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
