My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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