Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
