Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
