Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
What a dumb baby whore.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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