you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
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After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
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My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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