I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
