yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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