the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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