Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
