So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
