there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize