It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
do herpes really smell.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
