porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
