maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
