Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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