my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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