This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
