I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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