i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
