i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
