I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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