I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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