My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
as a side note pls kill me
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
