it's not cheating when I paid for it
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
