Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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