Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I will pee on everything he values.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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