sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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