i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
The power of my boobs compel you
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
