I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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