watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Man, jail baloney is awful.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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