Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
