if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
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