chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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