mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
