sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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