I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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