Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He better not be in your backpack
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
