You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
