How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
OPIZZABONMYDICK
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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