How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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