You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
