I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I cannot find my penis.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize
