Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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