i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
