so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize