Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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