I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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