we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
