I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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