What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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