About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
