Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You ate ashes out of my bong
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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