thus making me awesome and them whores
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
