i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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