she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
