I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
