pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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