How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
