You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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