its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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