i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
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and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
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I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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