just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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