Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
