I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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