I'm laying in your front yard are you home
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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