Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
