If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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