I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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