I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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